Naming the Truth in Coaching

(Originally published in November 2024. Republished due to a technical issue.)

Coaching is often described as asking good questions.

Listening deeply.

Creating safety.

All of that matters.

But there is another part of coaching that is just as important — and often misunderstood.

Directness.

Sometimes, the most useful thing a coach can do is to name what is already visible, but not yet seen.

When Questions Are Not Enough

Clients often come to coaching thoughtful, capable, and self-aware.

And still, there are moments when they get stuck inside a narrow story:

• what they’re doing wrong

• what’s missing

• what they fear might fail

At those moments, more questions don’t always help.

What helps is perspective.

A calm, grounded observation.

For example:

• “I’ve seen you act decisively in far more complex situations than this.”

• “You tend to focus on what needs fixing, even when a lot is already working.”

• “You speak about this as if you have no choice — yet you’ve made difficult choices before.”

These are not confrontations.

They are mirrors.

What Directness Is — and Isn’t

Direct communication in coaching is not:

• blunt

• judgmental

• corrective

It is precise.

Timed.

Offered without attachment.

It doesn’t tell the client who to be.

It helps them see what they are already doing — or avoiding.

Often, what feels “obvious” to a coach is invisible to the client in moments of pressure or self-doubt.

Naming it can restore balance.

Why This Matters for Leaders

Leaders are often expected to be composed, capable, and certain.

That expectation can make blind spots harder to see.

In coaching, direct observations can:

• interrupt unhelpful self-stories

• reconnect leaders with their actual capacity

• restore proportion when everything feels heavy

The aim is not confidence.

It is clarity.

A Question Leaders Can Sit With

Instead of asking:

“What am I doing wrong?”

Try asking:

• “What might I be overlooking about myself here?”

• “What would someone who knows me well notice that I’m not seeing right now?”

• “If I trusted my past capacity, what would change in how I approach this?”

A Final Note

Good coaching is not about being gentle or sharp.

It’s about being accurate.

Sometimes that means asking a question.

Sometimes it means naming what is already true — quietly, respectfully, and without drama.

That kind of directness doesn’t break trust.

It deepens it.